Pegging is having a moment right now and we here at Bedbible fully support it!
Some satisfying anal play in a way that’s exciting, different, and flips the script on the traditional dynamic: what’s not to love?
Pegging can be a great way to connect with your partner and explore each other’s roles during sex.
Plus, it can be quite surprising.
Are you intrigued and want to give it a try?
Here’s our step-by-step guide on how to prepare for bonding, from the types of things to think about beforehand, what products to try, and how to get the most out of your bonding experience.
talk about it
For many people, and maybe for you too, pegging is a pretty big departure from what they’re used to during sex.
Whether you’re interested in giving or receiving, it’s important that both you and your partner are on the same page about what you want to do before you start preparing anything bonding-related.
I wouldn’t exactly recommend showing up one night dressed in a strap-on and a dildo, ready to get down and dirty.
Instead, try bringing up the topic somewhere neutral (i.e. not the bedroom) and explain why you’re interested.
Maybe you’ve experimented with a finger or two in there before and would like to go further, or maybe you’re interested in the power play side of things.
Whatever the reason, discuss it with your partner! Give them the opportunity to think and read more about this and ask them if they would be interested!
get clean
Once you’ve both been given the go-ahead, it’s time to think about how to prepare for bonding. Given the body parts involved, you may need to do some anal cleaning beforehand if you are afraid of making a mess.
Anal play involves the anus (the opening) and the rectum (the last few inches of the digestive tract). The body does not store excrement in the rectum for long, so if there is some there you will feel the need to release it. This may be a no-brainer, but don’t do anal if you feel like you need to poop!
However, even if you feel like you’re safe, there may be some debris left inside that can appear on any toy or finger you insert. Some things you can do to prevent this are:
- Shower beforehand. Rinse your anus with soap and water, using a finger to gently probe the inside a little and wash it.
- Use an anal douche with a flexible tip a few hours before play to rinse everything off.
- Use condoms and/or gloves if you’re really worried about the mess.
You can also prepare for pegging by staying away from foods that might make your stomach feel funny. These usually include things like coffee or spicy foods.
Ultimately, you shouldn’t expect pegging to be a particularly spontaneous activity. Doing a little cleaning preparation beforehand can make the experience much more comfortable and enjoyable for both of you!
Heating
Okay, now you’re clean and ready for full penetration, right? Well, not entirely. Depending on your level of previous experience with anal play, your body may need more time to adjust to the idea.
Create a super sexy atmosphere and prevent any pain or discomfort at the same time by paying attention to your other sweet spots. This will help get you as excited as possible. After all, you want pegging to be an intimate, sensual experience, not a test.
Kissing, handjobs, oral sex… All kinds of things you can do to get hot and heavy before “normal” sex are fair game when you’re preparing for pegging. Remember, foreplay is important for everyone!
Lube, lube, lube!
If I could only recommend one thing for people to buy to improve their sex lives, it would be a good water-based lube, and this is no exception. Your butt doesn’t self-lubricate like your other sexy parts, so you’ll need a lot of anal lube when you insert something up there or you’re in for a pretty uncomfortable and potentially painful experience.
Water-based anal lubricant is usually the best choice for pegging preparation because it is easy to clean, does not stain sheets, and does not damage silicone sex toys like a silicone-based lubricant or other substance.
Additionally, while it may be tempting to opt for a numbing lubricant to ease any discomfort, it would probably do more harm than good. Your butt is a sensitive region and any pain you may feel there during anal play is a big red flag telling you to stop immediately. If you numb that pain, you could end up continuing with something that should hurt and injure you, and we don’t want that.
Test with one finger
We are finally here! The real penetration section of pegging preparation!
Please, we beg you, don’t try to stick a dildo up there. Even with a lot of lube, it’s likely to be quite painful: the sphincter (the ring of muscle surrounding the anus) needs to relax before you can insert anything there comfortably.
So, try massaging the muscles around the anus to relax them, using a little lube to make everything slippery and extra pleasurable. When the recipient is ready, you can take a lubricated finger and slowly and gently insert it into the anus. When they’re ready, you can start moving your finger in circles, pushing it in and out a little, and even massaging the prostate (about 2 inches) using a “come hither” motion (like you would when massaging the g spot).
If your recipient craves even more, you can turn up the heat and insert another (well-lubricated) finger to get a real feeling of fullness. Alternatively, you can also opt for a anal plug for beginnerswhich leaves your hands free to play with your other erogenous zones.
One with a diameter of around 1 inch is probably a good starting point, as this one from Lovehoneyalthough there are some that are even smaller if you really want to get to grips with the idea. This Naughty Mood Anal Plug It’s only 0.75 inches wide, which will be easy to insert but may not offer as much stimulation once inside.
Work up a dildo
Well, if you’ve followed all of our instructions so far, you’re all set and ready to get started with the full pairing!
When most people think of pegging, they think of a dildo and a harness, and they’re not wrong. Using a harness allows you to play hands-free and really immerse yourself in the role-play and power play aspects of pegging, but choosing Which strap-on harness and dildos are best for you both? It can be complicated and even a little overwhelming. Fortunately, we have some suggestions…
Beginner bondage kits can be a great all-in-one option for those just starting out, like the Tracey Cox Supersex strap-on set, which came in first place in our Pegging Dildos Rating. It comes with 2 silicone dildos (one 0.9 inches wide and one 1.5 inches wide) and an adjustable harness with a pocket in the front for the included vibrating bullet, so the giver can get some action too. It also has 3 interchangeable O-rings that the dildos sit on, so you can also use any of your other size dildos. You may even want to consider a prostate belt.
You can also purchase them separately and customize your settings. All you need is an adjustable harness that is comfortable for the wearer and a thin dildo (think 0.75 to 1.5 inches in diameter, or even a thin vibrator).
Your dildo should be smooth (a bulbous head or textured shaft may be tempting, but can make penetration more difficult and potentially painful for the uninitiated) and should have a flared base so it can be secured with a harness and not lost.
You could even make shopping for your pegging accessories a couples activity!
Search together to find what kinds of things you like and it will get you in the mood; It could allow you to feel more connected to your partner and will make you both feel more prepared for what’s ahead (hint: you, hopefully!).
Relax
And lastly, remember that this is all supposed to be fun and enjoyable. There’s no need to go too fast or take shortcuts in your pegging preparation, because it’s likely to make the experience less pleasant. If you’re nervous about being penetrated, take things slow.
Only move on to the next stage when you feel comfortable and ready, and if you don’t want to, stop and try something else; After all, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
Some things you can do to make it easier and to keep breathing and try not to tense up so that your sphincter relaxes as much as possible.
One advice to penetrate for the first time is to press the finger or dildo against the anus and insert it slowly while the recipient exhales. Stop and start that process as many times as you want until it is inserted as far as you want.
Some positions to try
A big part of preparing for bonding is simply finding what works best for you and your partner.
There are many different positions to try, and what you’re used to with PIV (penis in vagina) sex may not be the same as what makes you feel best when pegging. Here are some ideas to experiment with:
doggy style
Doggy style is probably the quintessential pegging position. It allows easy access to the anus so you can easily enter your partner at a pace and depth that is comfortable for them.
The donor can be on their knees or can stand with their legs bent if they need a little more height to be level with their partner’s anus.
Missionary
Good old Missionary – we love it because it works, it’s not too strenuous and it can be fantastic. You can pin your partner by lying between their legs or asking them to raise their legs so you have easier access to their anus.
Cowboy
Enjoy some of your pegging play by lying on your back and having the receiver ride the dildo on their knees.
This allows them to control the experience a little more and can be great for those who are a little nervous about giving up control of penetration. It can also allow you, as the donor, to please your partner in other ways simultaneously, such as stroking his penis while riding him.
You can also find more resources on our blog on how to prepare for pegging, as well as all kinds of other fun and sexy activities.