The idea of dragging a whip across your lover’s skin and then finishing it off with a quick flick of your wrist is pretty sexy, right?
But that doesn’t mean it’s not a little intimidating too…
Don’t worry!
In this guide, we’ll go over everything you need to know about how to buy a spanker gold bdsm whip for the first time (are they even the same?).
I will also guide you how to start using a flogger and how to be safe when doing so.
What is the difference between a whip and a flogger?
In the worlds of perversion and bdsmA bullwhip and whip are two different types of tools used for impact play. However, when it comes to purchasing them, they are often used interchangeably.
In general, a flogger:
- Has more falls (or ‘tails’)
- it’s shorter
- It has more versatility in how it can be used.
- It can be a great tool for beginners in the impact game.
A whip, on the other hand:
- It can often suffer a single fall.
- It may be larger or longer than a flogger.
- It is suitable for more advanced users.
Thuddy vs Sting-y Impacts
When we describe what different impacts feel like, we often use the terms “tough” and “stingy.” These describe how they feel on our skin and body.
Stronger impacts occur with wider drops and hit a larger area of your body to produce a “thud”-like sensation.
On the other hand, floggers or whips with thinner, more rigid shapes produce a sting instead of a thud.
Think about the pain of being spanked with a dish towel compared to the thud of being hit with a rolled-up newspaper.
Different rights?
Different ways to use whips and floggers
First, some basic technique for beginners.
If you and your partner have never tried impact play before, you may want to start slower.
Even those who have given a few spankings or used a spanking paddle You may want to avoid attacking directly with a whip first.
Instead, try a few long strokes over the body first to get both of you warmed up and used to the sensation.
As a bonus, this also creates a ton of sexy anticipation!
If you’re both comfortable, you can move on to some gentle strokes with a beginner-friendly whip on a fleshy area of the body, such as the butt.
Wait at least 3 seconds before each blow to give the whipper some time to decide if he likes the sensation and your technique.
Once you’ve found your groove, there are a few things you can potentially experiment with:
- Try some harder shots once you feel comfortable with your technique and aim. Stick to fleshy areas of the body (and see the section below on areas to avoid)!
- Consider getting a heavier or stingier whip or whip. Talk to your partner and ask if they’d prefer different sensations, then check out our reviews of the best ones!
- Experiment with cyclical strokes. This is where each stroke flows into the next, rather than pausing between strokes.
- Add a little more fun to the mix! Try some light bondage and have your spanked wear a blindfold or restrain their limbs until they’re begging for more.
For more details on what exactly to do with your flogger, as well as details on different techniques, I recommend watching this video. It’s very detailed and can also make you laugh a couple…
Where should I hit?
When it comes to whips and floggers, the placement of your blows is everything!
In general, you should always try to stick to the fleshy areas of the body. Most people go for the buttocks, but the thighs are also a good option.
Other areas are not totally off-limits, but require a light touch.
Treat areas of the body such as the lower legs, breasts, arms, genitals, ribs and back with great care. You should only use very light strokes for them.
If you have a more advanced whip, I recommend staying away from these areas entirely.
Areas to avoid completely?
The face, hands and feet, kidney area, spine and tailbone.
You should also avoid touching the healing skin, as it is very delicate and sensitive.
One more thing to keep in mind: it is important that the whip or whip does not wrap around the body when you use it. When this happens, the tips of the falls become very accelerated and can end up being very painful: an unexpected and unpleasant surprise for your flagellate!
The best way to avoid this is to make sure you are far enough away from your partner and that your stroke technique is correct.
You can practice the accuracy of your punches by hitting a towel-wrapped pillow, your couch, or anything else that’s soft and a little textured.
Then you can ensure you avoid painful mistakes later.
BDSM Safety and Aftercare
As with any other kinky game, it is vitally important that you keep safety in mind. With impact play, it’s even more important: after all, you’re literally hitting someone.
Before you buy or do anything, make sure you are both on board with the idea of impact play. Have an open and honest conversation (or, ideally, several conversations) about what you are comfortable with and what interests you.
It’s okay to have questions or reservations about certain aspects, but both parties should be willing to give it a try.
If you agreed to try a whip or whip, you should also establish a safe word or signal together. This is something the spanked person can say or do that will immediately stop the scene, no questions asked.
Preferably it should be something that would otherwise be very out of place in the bedroom, like “Broccoli!” Then you won’t confuse it with any role-playing game.
Alternatively, try the traffic light system. This is a way for the whipper to have some control over the scene based on their comfort levels and can be a good idea for beginners who are learning their limits. The system may look like this:
- “Green” means “feels great, keep going.”
- “Yellow” means “tone down,” “make some brush strokes lighter,” or “strike less frequently.”
- “Red” means “stop right now”
Make sure you both agree on what each term will mean before you begin.
After your sexy spanking session, don’t forget to practice some good aftercare.
BDSM can be both physically and emotionally exhausting, and both will need some time to recover.
Rub lotion into the floggere’s skin, snuggle it, and eat and drink something.
You should also check in with each other after each session to make sure you’re both happy with what happened.
Whips and Floggers Buyer’s Guide
If you are a beginner and looking to buy your first flogger, here are some things to keep in mind while purchasing:
- Number of falls — A good beginner flogger usually has between 20 and 30 falls. More will probably be too heavy and less may be unwieldy or too stingy.
- Materials — The suede is extremely soft and works very well to warm up and hit harder. Soft leather or synthetic leather is also flexible enough to make it beginner-friendly.
- Weight — you should opt for a light to medium weight flogger. Most stores will have this information in their product description.
- Length — a good length to aim for is between 18 and 24 inches. You will be quite close to your partner for intimate spankings and will have greater control over your aim and power.
- Extras — It may be helpful to have a whip that has a loop on the handle to put your wrist through. That way you’ll prevent it from accidentally flying across the room mid-swing!